Barbie Stickers and Panda Kuns
by DinosaurEyes
Summary: AU. Sakura gets bored in class on day and - ahem 'under my baggy sweatpants I am wearing a pair of short shorts not unlike the ones Lara Croft wears, decorated with barbie stickers' NejiSaku


Sakura gazed with frustration at the class. Her teacher was snoring onto the desk lazily and the entire class was fast asleep. She blew a piece of her pink hair out of her face in frustration- even her best friend Naruto was fast asleep. She glanced down at her notes and smiled, then flung them out of her hand

"So- under my baggy sweatpants I am wearing a pair of short shorts not unlike the ones Lara Croft wears" she glanced around the class again. After checking to see that no one had noticed what she said, she continued

"I have decorated them with glow in the dark Barbie stickers, which work well to light my way when I crawl through tunnels with George Clooney. I know some people may think that Barbie stickers are a faux pas, but I believe that they add a certain kind of flair to everything. Also, the twin gun holsters I have strapped to my hips are easy and fast to reach" checking one last time to make sure no on was listening she decided to bare her soul to the class room "I do not love Sasuke kun. I call him that because off a dare that Naruto once gave me. I also think that Naruto is blind, and ironically, should date the stuttering girl with the white eyes who likes him a lot. However, if I must say so myself, Blind-creepy- white eyes- stuttering girl's cousin is pretty hot, even if he looks like a girl sometimes. But I have seen his chest- and let me tell you, _it is fine_. An eight pack, thank you very much Unfortunately though, his hair is pretty than mine, and we can never be together because I will forever be envious of it. Also, my best girl friend Ino pig should really get over her crushes on both Sasuke and Sai, because honestly? Shikamaru is much better for her anyway and he _gets _her, and I think personally, that Sai and Sasuke are both gay, and are perfect for each other- Speaking of gayness, does any one think that Gai and Rock Lee like each other a _little bit too much? _And speaking of Lee, don't you think that he would notice that his best friend- girl best friend that is- likes the schools Panda Kun? Furthermore, Kakashi- sensei is a pervert, and I have read one of his books. Surprisingly, I liked it, it was full of-"

_Ding! _The class timer went off, signaling that her three-minute essay on the major disadvantages of cross -Atlantic trade treaties was over. Kakashi sensei blinked lazily and sat up straight

"Thank you Sakura, for a most fascinating speech" Sakura grinned back at him "no sensei, _thank you"_ she dragged back to her seat and sat down lazily, smirking to herself the entire time. Her blonde best friend's eyes her nervously

"Um- great speech Sakura?" Naruto offered, as Ino nodded. Sakura widened her eyes dramatically "you agree with me?" she gasped. They nodded frantically "absolutely!" she grinned evilly

"Excellent- we'll talk about this later than, shall we?" the two blondes exchanged nervous glances

"Talk about what?" Ino asked tentatively, Sakura beamed innocently at her "why- you going out with Shikamaru and Hinata of course!" They're faces paled sporadically, leaving blotches of tan and pale skin. Ino chocked inconspicuously on her own spit "_what?" _just then the teacher called her up to the front. She left with a glare and a warning. Sakura watched silently as Naruto blushed and paled, before finally fainting. Sakura sighed and propped him upright in the chair. She observed her handiwork- Naruto's head was splayed out over the back of the chair and his tongue was hanging out. She smiled, pulling a small camera out of her backpack and snapping a small picture of this sight. She sighed once again and looked down at her desk, wishing her love life could solved this easily. Just then a small a note arrived on her desk. She opened it, not recognizing the handwriting on the paper. The note read:

_What time should I pick you up?_

_-Neji Hyuuga_

Sakura's face drained of color. She looked up once and met a pair of cool white eyes staring at her from against the room. Her mouth went dry as she noticed his smirk. He motioned down at the paper again. The note continued

_P.S_

_Barbie stickers will never go out of style, at least according to my younger cousin, Hanabi_

_I would appreciate it if you showed me your short shorts and twin gun holsters_

_If my cousin EVER gets with that loud mouth moron, I will shoot myself, but not before I hurt his- ah- 'family jewels'_

_I agree- Yamanaka and Nara are suited for each other, also It would be amusing to watch Nara slowly lose his mind_

_If you ever refer to Gaara again as "panda Kun' I will puke_

_Lee and Gai aren't gay- oh, the awful mental images. Lee is actually going out with Matsuri, and yes, he talked to GAARA yesterday, and I quote 'you will ask out my youthful Tennie, or god help me, I will unyouthfully beat you into the ground' which is pretty intense for him._

_I agree, Sasuke and Sai are perfect for each other_

_I'm glad you appreciate my chest- when did you se it anyway?_

_I agree, my hair is beautiful, but it doesn't have your color_

_YOU READ ONE OF HIS BOOKS?_

_You look very pretty when you're plotting stuff._

Sakura looked up at Neji. He winked at her as she gaped at him, flushed and embarrassed. She glanced at Kakashi, before mouthing the words

_You were paying attention?_

He smirked at her, before mouthing the words

_To you? Always_


End file.
